Buyer's Remorse - Wii-bay Horror Stories

In this feature we will be bringing to you horror stories that people have expreciened dealing with idiots when buying online. This story comes from attempting to buy a Wii on Ebay, which when it got to me, was in nowhere near the condition as promised. I'm sure this has happened to us all, but this time I was so frustrated I couldn't just let the moment pass. What follows is his explanation to me and my response. I hope it inspires some of you.

This is his email to me:

How can I pick up more women?

About Mercedes and this column:
So this traipse into column-self-worship/thinly-veiled-right-to-brag
has been a long time coming. I've only been in existence for 25 years
(and sleeping around/making out for about 11 of them) so I am sure many
of you are wondering what makes me so qualified to be giving anyone

How NOT to get a Wii

"I'll just wait until after the holiday rush, then there will be plenty of Wiis available."
Or so I told myself a few months ago, opting not to buy a Wii bundle deal. I'm not spending an extra $20 for a memory card, I'll just wait a week or two and pickup a console at retail with no strings attached..."

It'll be easy I thought...

...

...

...

Nice move dip shit.

Explore The Galaxy, Mario Style

SCORE: 9.5 out of 10.0.
[Worth Living For] (Zero Apathy)

The presentation is top notch with
graphics that put the Wii to work and an almost fully orchestrated soundtrack.
The look and design make this the best thing since super Mario 64, they can
never get back the "OMG its 3d" effect from 64 but this game gets damn
close.