Horoscopes

Don't Be An Idiot

January 29, 2009 by Micah Bleich

AQUARIUS
January 20-February 18
Recheck your credit card balance -- if you're close to the limit, now is the time to settle up. There are lots of ways to manage debt like shaking trees and selling the apples that fall out. If you didn't understand this piece of advice, it's because you don't play Animal Crossing, and therefore, are not a complete idiot. Congratulations.

Your rating: None Average: 6.8 (4 votes)

Just Get Drunk

December 24, 2008 by Micah Bleich

Capricorn
December 22nd - January 20th
Thanks to a couple of minor aspects you could find that you’re having some last minute qualms about your Holiday season gaming choices. Cast off the burden of choice and just get drunk and play whatever's on sale.
That Tamagotchi gaming party sounds a lot sweeter after a fifth of Jack Daniels.

Your rating: None Average: 2 (1 vote)

Hey! Quit it!

November 25, 2008 by Micah Bleich

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21
The sign of the Archer is traditionally optimistic, freedom-loving, good-humored and honest. So stop being a dick!

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You're Not A Total Loser

November 12, 2008 by Micah Bleich

Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
Your moon sign today is likely to generate enough inner-doubt to halt you in your life endeavors, but more likely, thats just your body odor.

Your rating: None Average: 4 (1 vote)

Features

Top 5 Events You Shouldn't Invite Your WoW Guild To

March 11, 2009 by Micah Bleich

You love your guildmates, well, as much as you can love people you mostly only interact with online anyways, but what if you did see them more off-line? We'd like to help you avoid ruining your life as much as possible, so here is a list of the 5 events you probably shouldn't bring them to.

Image of Dancing Dwarf from WoWguru.com

Your rating: None Average: 6.3 (341 votes)

Top Ten Things You Can Learn By Watching Red Vs. Blue

February 9, 2009 by SSXallnight

Any gamer worth his snuff is familiar with Red Vs. Blue, but not a lot of people realize the educational value of the Halo-based machinima. If you're one of the unfortunates who isn't cool enough to know about the hilarious internet series; here is a list of things you would know if you didn't spend so much time doing your homework or actually showing up on time to your job.

Your rating: None Average: 7.9 (18 votes)

5 Steps To Become A Pretentious Asshole

November 29, 2008 by Micah Bleich

Pretentious Bunny

Sometimes just knowing something isn't enough. To truly appreciate knowledge, one must draw attention mercilessly to themselves. So, Two Bit News is happy to present this top list to sounding like a pretentious asshole, or guide if you prefer deriving from the latin word meaning "full of information" (more on this later!).

Your rating: None Average: 7.6 (49 votes)