AUSTIN - Times have changed since the days of the first video game systems. Other than simply improving graphics, over the years we've seen plenty of innovation in the control systems especially. The most recent of which is the Wii Fit which uses player movements on a footpad to control the action on screen.
The Wii Fit follows in the tradition of the Power Pad, Dance Dance Revolution, and Twister, all of which are especially fun when naked. The most interesting element of the Wii Fit is it's companion software tailor made to help one improve one's lifestyle.
Other than diet tips and exercise training it also includes an asianification module that will create the user to turn into a ripped japanse man. As you can see below in the clearly not-photoshopped-poorly picture of Ralph Meadows of Austin, TX, it really works.
CARLSBAD - Rockstar announced today the first spinoff game from it's mega-hit series Grand Theft Auto. The game is called Granny Theft Auto, and will take place is Boca Raton, Florida. The main character will be Sophia from the most amazing TV series ever made, Golden Girls.
Rather than running around town and stealing cars, the game's protagonist will sit on the couch and steal the remote from you, hijacking the cable box all day with Matlock marathons. The game is expected to recieve massive amounts of protest from pretty much anyone born after 1965.
With all of the top video games these days getting made into movies, it's only a matter of time before Hollywood somehow ruins Left4Dead on the big screen (ok, there are a few decent video game movies, but they are few and far between.)
Some other sites have covered this same idea, but they're not nearly as fucking insane as we are, so hopefully we can present a cast that will keep you all happy.
Washington, D.C. - Since the shocking appointment of Hilary Clinton as Secretary of State, the nation has been on edge waiting for the big Secretary of Commerce announcement. That tension was broken this Wednesday afternoon when Barack Obama finally made a decision.
