The New York Times is reporting that Monkey's have been able to control robot arms in laboratories by using only their thoughts.

Stephen Hawking can't even do that, he still uses a chair! The question is, is this technology really that great or did we just stumble into a few super intelligent monkeys? If so, how will humanity survive in the face of this new cyborg robot monkey threat?

Hell, I can't even play video games with my thoughts, let alone pilot the mechanized army of super simian soldiers the monkey imperialist government is sure to build!

WE'RE DOOMED! DOOMED I SAY! Oh well, I'm gonna go back to watching online game trailers ilke a good brainless human slave whilst we're conquered by our less lazy pre-hensile tail wielding oppresors.

In the meantime, if you need to kill time while waiting to be enslaved, here is the rest of the article: