As you can plainly see in the video iamchris4lifeis doings things no mortal man should be capable of. While most simply chalked the ability up as a phenom, others took exception to his ill-earned success (ok, I admit it, it was only me). A movement was formed in days following the events and an angry mob requested a full investigation to see if performance enhancers had been taken (again, only me really, got my mom to sign my online petition though).

The organization against unfair game playing (me) was wrong, and no performance enhancers (for gaming: red bull, cheetos, crack cocaine) had been used, but a much more nefarious plot was uncovered.

As it turns out, iamchris4life was not only a YouTube handle, but also his CIA code name. CIA?? Thats right. He was the subject of a CIA project designed to create the perfect gamer. The lab techs had recently given up on their project to create the perfect lover, when they realized they were barely hanging onto their girlfriends as it was.

iamchris4life was the code name given to the robot brain that was merged into the young boy in the CIA laboratories. Overtime the robot extended it's influence and eventually took over entirely. At first the project was deemed a complete success, except for one problem, the Cyborg's thirst for gaming was unquenchable.

The mutant half-man half-uber nerd tore through game after game. Call of Duty, Grand Theft Auto, No More Heroes, Nintendogs, nothing could quench his thirst. The CIA even commisioned specially made games that would have no substance and just last as long as possible to try to derail the monster (which explains all those Leisure Suit Larry sequels).

Finally the CIA scientists had the perfect solution. They programmed Al Qaeda secret codes into Guitar Hero 3 and linked the buttons towards cracking them. Until June 3rd, 2008 the mystery had been unsolved, but now, thanks to one brave, and exceptionally lonely man, an attack on Sony Online Entertainment's "ruin this game" department has been tragically thrwarted.

iamchris4life apparently realized the sensitivity of his accomplishment and tried to keep himself safe from CIA retribution by leaving his face out of the gaming video. However, his hand movements are easily traceable by foreign scientists, and as such he has been killed, probably painfully in some kind of torture device. Oh well, at least he beat the game first!

Activision sales reach $3 Billion Gamespot.com announced.

How do they do it?

By restraining the urges to have any original ideas of course!

Thats what the video game industry needs these days, more sequels. Forget creative new fresh ideas like Battle of the Bands, let's get another Guitar Hero! And lord knows none of us have had our fill of World War 2 shooters yet. *Groan*.