Ask A Girl

Why does my girlfriend complain so much about my gaming?

Dear Mercedes, How much time can I buy myself while playing video games before going to bed without pissing my girlfriend off? -GTAguy

Is World Of Warcraft (MMOs) a good way to meet a spouse?

Dear Mercedes, I've been single for almost 4 years now, and I'm getting really desperate for some companionship. My friend met his current girlfriend by playing World of Warcraft, but that seems a little weird, even for me. Do you think playing online games is a reasonable way to meet women?

Short answer: No.

How can I pick up more women?

About Mercedes and this column:
So this traipse into column-self-worship/thinly-veiled-right-to-brag
has been a long time coming. I've only been in existence for 25 years
(and sleeping around/making out for about 11 of them) so I am sure many
of you are wondering what makes me so qualified to be giving anyone


Horoscopes

Don't Be An Idiot

AQUARIUS
January 20-February 18
Recheck your credit card balance -- if you're close to the limit, now is the time to settle up. There are lots of ways to manage debt like shaking trees and selling the apples that fall out. If you didn't understand this piece of advice, it's because you don't play Animal Crossing, and therefore, are not a complete idiot. Congratulations.

Games Gone Wrong

Opinion

Tony Hawk video games are the new Madden NFL

This issue has been bothering me for a few months now and I wanted to get it off my chest.

I still remember how amazing it was playing the original Tony Hawk Pro Skater for Dreamcast (yes, Dreamcast, get off my back, it was amazing.) and it absolutely blowing my mind. Finally a game that made you feel like you were in control of a real skater from the get go, but also with the potential for mind blowing stunts not possible in real life.

Comic

November, 23, 2008

Reviews

Guitar Hero: World Tour Song By Song Review

Well, the 4th edition of the Guitar Hero series is upon us and it's rife with already done hackneyed game functions stolen from Rockband, but hey, it's got cymbals!
I'm not going to bore you with my opinion of how much the sensitivity levels of the drums suck, or how awesome it is that you can trick your girlfriend into playing a video game with you. You can read that shit on some other website that actually cares if you're informed. Micah and KT are here to enterain and, of course, educate!

Features

5 Steps To Become A Pretentious Asshole

Pretentious Bunny

Sometimes just knowing something isn't enough. To truly appreciate knowledge, one must draw attention mercilessly to themselves. So, Two Bit News is happy to present this top list to sounding like a pretentious asshole, or guide if you prefer deriving from the latin word meaning "full of information" (more on this later!).

Top 7 things to do while waiting for a Playstation 3 game install

Being a Playstation 3 owner you're going to have a little bit of free
time with those mandatory installs for games like Devil May Cry 4 and
Metal Gear Solid 4 and any other games with 4 in it. Here are the top 7
ways for you to kill some time.