Inspired by Prince of Persia commercial, Sigur Ros and other obscure Icelandic musicians create video game

December 31, 2008 by kt

By KT:

If you haven’t noticed lately, video game commercials are getting pretty emo. With the use of DeVotchKa’s “How It Ends” in Gears of War 2 and then Sigur Ros’s Untitled song from their Untitled album (not pretentious) in Prince of Persia, gaming and indie music are now teaming up for the ultimate indie nerdcore fest ever. With the two worlds of gaming and music proverbially mingling at the company’s holiday mixer (you know, the one where you got “sooo wasted!” at off the un-spiked egg nog), Sigur Ros and other music artists native to the country of Iceland have decided to cross brand themselves to become more widely known and accepted. Thusly, they are currently creating and featuring in their own video game.

Left 4 Dead Box Censored in Japan With More Offensive Image; Germany Jealous

December 24, 2008 by myka

TOKYO - Just as Germany did last week, this week Japan recieved two new covers to censor the missing finger on the hand of the Left 4 Dead cover art.

Ironically, over twice as many people were repulsed by the new art of David Hasselhoff wearing nothing but puppies. Meanwhile, consumers in Germany are angered that they did not recieve the Hasslehoff cover. A local in Germany had this to say "It's not fair! He is so the dreamy one. I'd gobble his schnitzel on any system.".

In Tough Market, Boobies Still on the Rise

December 15, 2008 by myka

NEW YORK - The latest study by Fimitrend Financial Corp. has revealed that despite these harsh economic times, boobies popularity continues to stay on the rise. Donald Finley, CEO of Fimitrend on possible reasons for the continued success "Well...honestly, people like the boobies. They like to play with them, look at them, bop them, squeeze them, bounce them, do loo-loos with them, spank the farmer, do naught no-nos, and punish them."

While we're not entirely sure what "loo-loos" are, one thing we do know is that they're great for business. At least 25 different game producers alone this year have reported that boobies have generated more revenue than all their other products combined.

Wii Fit Really Works

December 8, 2008 by myka

AUSTIN - Times have changed since the days of the first video game systems. Other than simply improving graphics, over the years we've seen plenty of innovation in the control systems especially. The most recent of which is the Wii Fit which uses player movements on a footpad to control the action on screen.

The Wii Fit follows in the tradition of the Power Pad, Dance Dance Revolution, and Twister, all of which are especially fun when naked. The most interesting element of the Wii Fit is it's companion software tailor made to help one improve one's lifestyle.

Other than diet tips and exercise training it also includes an asianification module that will create the user to turn into a ripped japanse man. As you can see below in the clearly not-photoshopped-poorly picture of Ralph Meadows of Austin, TX, it really works.

Rockstar announces spinoff to Grand Theft Auto

December 7, 2008 by myka

CARLSBAD - Rockstar announced today the first spinoff game from it's mega-hit series Grand Theft Auto. The game is called Granny Theft Auto, and will take place is Boca Raton, Florida. The main character will be Sophia from the most amazing TV series ever made, Golden Girls.

Rather than running around town and stealing cars, the game's protagonist will sit on the couch and steal the remote from you, hijacking the cable box all day with Matlock marathons. The game is expected to recieve massive amounts of protest from pretty much anyone born after 1965.