Sega Cutbacks Planned, Sonic Commits Seppuku.

February 11, 2009 by Jack Belmont

FAIL ACADEMY - Sonic Studios and gambling machine enthusiasts Sammy will announce some “early retirement” and close "fun time places" later this month. Sonic fans announce joy in a chance that Sega might be forced to have competent workers.

WoW Forums Drama: Mana Regeneration

February 10, 2009 by kourtnie

FORUM HEALING MAYHEM – Changes to mana regeneration in World of Warcraft are abundant as Blizzard tries to pick up the fallen pieces of their Wrath release.

GTA IV Voice Actor Shunned by Rock Star Games Family

February 10, 2009 by SSXallnight

VICE CITY - Someone should have told voice actor Michael Hollick that performing like a pampered Princess Peach would make him one of the lost and the damned, almost literally.

Local Woman Tries To Play Video Game

February 10, 2009 by myka

KALAMAZOO - Shocking news today in Kalamazoo, MI, as a WOMAN, that's right, a HUMAN FEMALE, attempted to play a video game.

Mrs. Brianna Poole, a Michigan native, heard from a male friend that video games are fun. While no woman has yet to successfully play a video game other than Nintendogs, she still decided that she would try her hand at the much more complicated, Killzone 2.

Sony announces Home Revamp; Consumers Announce Disinterest.

February 9, 2009 by Jack Belmont

SAN DIEGO - Today Junji Shoda, Sony's head of international bussiness relations for Home, announced that twenty four companies will be making exclusive content for Playstation Home. Upon the announcement the virtually empty room sighed and checked their watches.

“Does this work with the 360?” One fan asked. Unphased, the question was expertly ignored, and Mr. Shoda quickly moved onto the announcement that Resident Evil 5 would be the first to use this new system.

Mr. Shoda then went on to say “This will damper Microsoft’s day”, just then a reporter stood up and said “Who cares? We all have Wiis”.

Junji Shoda then opened the floor to further questions at which point one last reporter stood and asked “Are we supposed to care?”

The room then dispersed to play Devil May Cry 4, Grand Theft Auto 4, Street Fighter 4 and the Resident Evil 5 demo on the Xbox 360.