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Sega Cutbacks Planned, Sonic Commits Seppuku.

February 11, 2009 by Jack Belmont

FAIL ACADEMY - Sonic Studios and gambling machine enthusiasts Sammy will announce some “early retirement” and close "fun time places" later this month. Sonic fans announce joy in a chance that Sega might be forced to have competent workers.

In a statement released by Sega, they announced that the Japanese market has suffered during the first three fiscal years, and that sonic has suffered for the last three generations. Sega also has no hopes in the fourth quarter as they haven't released a game more fun than a Seppuku (Japanese ritualistic suicide by disembowelment) in years and see no reason to start now. They had this to say on the matter “We haven't released a great game in years, why start now?” Well, at least they're concise and honest.

Unfortunately Sega did not announce that they would fire everyone, only a select few keeping the cream of the crop. So to those two people I say "good job", and "I wish you the best of luck in coming up with yet another gimmick to cover for your co workers lack of talent".

Sega recently released Golden Axe: Beast Rider and has stated that reviews were better than anticipated, they also apologized for single-handedly ruining the economy.

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