Category: funny
Brad Morely was a rising star in the world of architecture. At 27 he made waves at Perkowitz + Ruth with his outside the box thinking and quickly left to branch out & make a name for himself. His cutting edge designs brought him celebrity status and put his small firm, Fully Erect, on the map. Soon after his career began to skyrocket, Brad also celebrated the birth of his newborn daughter Megan Fox Johansson. Everything had been going his way. He had a beautiful 5 story house out in Rancho Palos Verdes and his wife recently became a model for the Italian fashion house, Fendi.
Tragically this was all taken away last week when Brad suffered a massive heart attack at his home on Thursday. And even more tragic, none of this was real. His accomplishments were achieved by his profile character “Brad-a tat tat” for the Sims 3 video game. Outside of this virtual world, Brad was a Barista at Starbucks who was struggling to keep his 30 hours a week for the coffee empire. His girlfriend, Sandra, came home to their apartment Thursday night around 7 when she found him slumped over in his usual spot on the couch with the TV blaring. On the table was a pack of cigarettes, some chips, 3 layer bean dip, and a diet coke. He hadn’t visited the doctor in over 3 years, but reports indicate that heart attacks were common in his family. Sandra was heartbroken, but had this to say,” Brad was a great guy. I can’t believe he’s gone. But I’m going to keep Brad’s legacy alive by continuing his game in his memory.”
JUST IN FROM WOW ELEMENTAL CENTRAL - Shamans walking around with 20k health have a 10k earth elemental to tank for them, and a fire elemental that does half as much damage as their 20-minute-cooldown-less Magma Totem.
Blizzard has noted this as an obvious concern.
Answer? You say, "Fix the elementals." I say, "Of course not, since when does fixing a problem involve improving the weakness." Case in point: Rockbiter Weapon was last seen as useful in 2004.
But don't worry, the Blizz-style fix is on it's way: the Air Elemental of Doom!
For the mere expense of 23% of your mana pool (the same ridiculous pay-a-kidney cost of the other elementals), you get an Air Elemental featuring:
- 5k damage/second tick (like the time Sapphiron was bugged one X.X.X patch ago)
- tanks like a druid in full T7 (mana sponge tank ftw)
- upon 2 minutes passing, he enrages and one shots every target in range until killed
He should be showing up in 3.1 like that mythic dual-spec thing.
JUST IN FROM CALIFORNIA POLICE - A recent Puyo Pop Fever frenzy led to the deaths of a young couple in an apartment strewn with video game boxes. Suspect? Carbuncle, the Puyo Puyo mascot.
While having an endless-match-to-the-death extravaganza, the boyfriend realized his girlfriend actually knew how to play the puzzle game beyond mere identification of the A B buttons on the controller. Carbuncle became frustrated mitigating pieces Puyo pieces to the players for several hours and went out on a genocide.
Gamers are asked to be wary of archaic Puyo Puyo games. Sega has mentioned trying to restrain Carbuncle in future releases.
As a side note, experts on the scene have reported puzzle games to increase girl gamer experience. Go purchase your $7 copy of Puyo Pop Fever and stick it into your Wii this V-Day.
HELL - In an attempt to make my first news post look good, EA and DICE have announced that they still don’t understand the word irony by announcing Bad Company 2. The first person shooter will be released this winter on the Playstation 3, Xbox 360 and PC.
EA has seen better days after having 1,100 (11% increase) layoffs and yet still lacking the money to make a great game. However, perhaps the company has hope in star title Mass Effect 2. It certainly convinced would be stock holders as EA’s stock has somehow managed to go up two dollars a share.
In other EA news, the company has announced the delay of Dragon Age citing “epic winz”, the delay of Godfather 2 because “the family wasn’t big enough for epic winz” and Sims 3 because “this will never be epic winz”. Why delay a great game when your company is falling apart? That’s why EA makes the tough decisions, because they excel at it.
From: http://www.gamespot.com/news/6204185.html?tag=result;title;0
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