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ROCKVILLE - Big news for the Maryland based game company Bethesda Softworks today, as big time movie star and ethnically confused Will Smith signed on to produce the next installment of the hit series Fallout. [Details after the jump!]
"We want to take it in a different direction this time around." says Smith of his new pet project. "I think we can all agree that the last 3 games have been pretty amazing, but they're lacking something."
That "something" as it turns out, is wholesome family fun. The Formerly Fresh Prince believes the crude, unapologetcially violent features of the previous games leave much to be desired. "How about, instead of homemade grenades, we get down with some wholesome homemade rap music, featuring lyrics about how much money I make and why it's wrong to objectify women! yeah!" [Mr. Smith then went around the room high fiving and snapping with everyone that would pay attention to him.]
We spoke with a Bethesda game designer that worked on Fallout 3 about the issue, he wished to remain anonymous. "This isn't Independance Day. You can't just make up a virus, not kill anyone, and then the world is saved. Plus he hasn't had a hit song in like 7 years, when is he gonna let the music thing go?" he said, somewhat disgruntled. Good point, I guess sometimes Producers just don't understand *groan*.
At any rate, the new game will star Jayden Smith, Will Smith's obnoxiously entitled child who is already slated to ruin the Karate Kid remake coming out next Summer. The project is expected to spend over $100 million on special effects for the game and then employ a script that makes little to no sense. The commercials will star Will Smith running in the rain and screaming at the top of his lungs for no apparent reason, and of course a proceed of the sales will be donated to Scientology.
We'll keep you posted with more details about Fallout 4: Family Hijinks as they become available. In the meantime, checkout the similarily family themed 50 Cent and Rockstar Games collaboration, Shoot a Ho, Kill a Bitch.