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Video Game Hottie Hall of Fame - Natalie Portman

December 10, 2008 by Mercedes Moore

An obvious choice right? Well we here at 2BN have made a name for ourselves not wasting time reinventing the wheel.

Natalie Portman speaks to the pedo trapped deep down in the basement behind a concrete-enforced steel door guarded by laser beams in the bottom of our empty, lonely hearts. In our dreams she plays mahjong in the park with our granny and wins every time. Then we take her home for a cup of hot cocoa and a slow , deep , sensual oil massage and talk about how nice it would be if we dated that Natalie girl. Grandma has always been good to us, even when we don't deserve it.

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Recheck your credit card balance -- if you're close to the limit, now is the time to settle up. There are lots of ways to manage debt like shaking trees and selling the apples that fall out. If you didn't understand this piece of advice, it's because you don't play Animal Crossing, and therefore, are not a complete idiot. Congratulations.

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Top 7 Iron Mans

May 27, 2008 by myka

No, we didn’t make a mistake. The title is, in fact, “Top 7 Iron Mans,” not “Iron Men.” We’re counting down the 7 people that have best honored the iron name with great accomplishments and general bad-assery. Some of these may shock you, but rest assured, they are rated by the highest authorities on the subject matter (or any subject matter, as far as we’re concerned): hardcore gamers.
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Why does my girlfriend complain so much about my gaming?

May 15, 2008 by Mercedes Moore

Dear Mercedes, How much time can I buy myself while playing video games before going to bed without pissing my girlfriend off? -GTAguy

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Is World Of Warcraft (MMOs) a good way to meet a spouse?

May 6, 2008 by myka

Dear Mercedes, I've been single for almost 4 years now, and I'm getting really desperate for some companionship. My friend met his current girlfriend by playing World of Warcraft, but that seems a little weird, even for me. Do you think playing online games is a reasonable way to meet women?

Short answer: No.

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