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Nintendo Announces Multi-Dimensional Gaming In Wii's Future.

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March 27, 2009 by Austin Rafter

TOLEDO - Just as you thought the Nintendo crew might want to slow down for a bit and chillax at the beach with some tasty margaritas, they have just recently stated that there is no rest for the company destined to rule the world. The topic of discussion? Higher-dimensional gaming.

The first arena the press got word on was sports gaming, where Nintendo said they will soon (TBA) introduce a new 3D and 4D Wii Sports. In 3D, the games will apparently be much more life-like, such as a baseball or tennis ball hurdling toward you, and in the 4D Wii Sports, for example, the ball will simply disappear in the air and the player will have to wait until the ball comes out of the fourth dimension and back into the 3D world until he or she can subsequently act on it. Incredible. And you thought a 2D knuckleball was unpredictable.

The Redmond, Washington based company also hinted at even more futuristic projects. "We want to lead the gaming industry...five-dimensional and perhaps even six-dimensional gaming, but we haven't thought that far ahead. We only have so much acid at our headquarters. If you know a good dealer, let us know," Nintendo president Satoru Iwata explained.

Nintendo is planning on having the user wear special glasses to experience the full higher-dimensional world. "Like the 3D glasses that you got as a kid in your cocoa puffs, but you know, Nintendoed out...like with a Nintendo logo or something," Satoru Itawa told reporters. Mr. Itawa reflected on the design of the glasses, saying the company was working on the perfect style for the higher-dimensional eye pieces. "We want them to be extremely comfortable but still fashionable. We want gamers to be so addicted to this new style of gaming that they will consider getting them prescription. Our R&D department is even working on contacts for greater lay-ability."

This new style of gaming might just revolutionize the industry. Games that used to be boring will now be exciting via a three or four-dimensional remake. Think Pac-Man is boring? Not when Blinky's flying at your face, he's not. Woh! Where'd he go?! Oh, shit, there he is! Run!

Perhaps at E3 '09 Nintendo will show us a game demo? Stay tuned.

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