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Study Shows Video Games Cause Cancer

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March 18, 2009 by Micah Bleich


WILMINGTON - According to the latest research from the Center for Disease Control (CDC) playing too many video games may cause cancer. [Details after the jump]

The double blind study was conducted with 30 participants, most of them mice, with the remaining 8 being elderly women and infant children.

The doctors placed each infant. mouse and elderly person inside a microwave oven that was hooked up directly to a Playstation 3. As they played various video games on the console system it caused the microwave to emit a slight amount of radiation.

At the conclusion of the 72 hour study, it was found that 3 of the mice had been cooked to a delicious golden brown while most of the human subjects had significatly itchy skin.

While the scientists couldn't pinpoint whether the itchy skin was cancer or not, it was pretty obvious they would recieve much less funding from the American Cancer Society if the results were inclusive, so they got together and came up with the prognosis that "Clearly, Video Games Cause Cancer."

Due to these new findings all microwaves and videogame systems will be required to come with plastic silicone sleeves (much like a Wii remote). The world is a safer place now thanks to the CDC.

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