Is my girlfriend really interested in video games?

February 21, 2008 by Micah Bleich

Dear Mercedes, My girl says she's interested in video games, but whenever I talk about them for more than 30 minutes, she gets a glazed look and seems annoyed. I listen to stories about her new coat for hours. Is it possible to make her care? if so how?! Help! -Annoyed in Anaheim

Dear Annoyed, So what is interesting here is that, like many people, you appear to have no sense of when someone is just straight up lying to you. And no, I'm not talking about her lying about being into gaming, because she very well may be (which is pretty awesome for you, congrats!) The lie here started way back. The lie was her patience through your very first 30-minute (!) session of nerd talk. If she were an honest girl, she would have rolled her eyes and said, "Can we please talk about something else?" the first time you threatened to bore her to death.
Top on the list of issues facing many couples is incompatible communication styles. You may be a little long on words or she may be short on attention, but either way, you may have a minor or major inability to make one another truly listen. First, I should note that theore is a marked difference between your half-hour discussion about packaging on a new PSP unit and her spending hours going on and on about a new Searle military trench. For her, the trench and all talk around it serves as proxy for her desire to be seen as attractive and for you to tell her so. Not that you asked, but if you wanted her shut up about it, tell her she looks hot in her new expensive coat and that you wish she would just wear that and a pair of black heels so you could play Accidental Detective with her for a few hours. Just make something up that let's her know that the coat/ shoes/ new bangs/ first edition of a Robert Frost novel is nothing without her attached to it.
On to your issue: getting her to be more attentive, or anyone for that matter, is going to be impossible if you are giving them a lecture instead of holding a conversation. If you see that she is not responding with the kind of excitement or active interest you would expect, shut the fuck up for a minute! Pay attention to her body language: does she look tired? Does she have a headache (probably your fault)? Is she on the fucking phone?? Timing is everything and since I am giving both of you the benefit of the doubt that the alleged common interest in gaming is real, why don't you try taking a breath between sentences and cutting your rants to 10-minutes or less. She's still with you and you should be grateful and not ruin it. No, no, I'm kidding. Just stop acting like she's your audience of one and you crazy kids will be fine.
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